These are two different things. However, sex can be one way to express you love for someone else. It's important that you are clear with yourself - and others - what kind of relationship you are looking for. If you are upfront in communicating this, it can make things much easier and less complicated in the long run.
What's your style of love?
Unsure? Do the quiz! Listed below are several statements that reflect different attitudes about love. For each statement, fill in the response on the answer sheet that indicates how much you agree or disagree with that statement. The items refer to a specific love relationship. Whenever possible, answer the questions with your current partner in mind. If you are not currently dating anyone, answer the questions with your most recent partner in mind. If you have never been in love, or are not sure, answer in terms of what you think your responses would most likely be.
How to score:
5 = Strongly agree
4 = Moderately agree
3 = Neutral – neither agree nor disagree
2 = Moderately disagree
1 = Strongly disagree
My partner and I have the right physical “chemistry” between us. Answer ____
I feel that my partner and I were meant for each other. Answer ____
My partner fits my ideal standards of physical beauty/handsomeness. Answer ____ Score: ______
I believe that what my partner doesn’t know about me won’t hurt them. Answer ___
I have sometimes had to keep my partner from finding out about other partners. Answer ___
My partner would get upset if they knew of some of the things I’ve done with other partners. Answer ___
Our love is the best kind because it grew out of a long friendship. Answer ___
Our friendship merged gradually into love over time. Answer ___
Our love relationship is the most satisfying because it developed from a good friendship. Answer ___
A main consideration in choosing my partner was how they would reflect on my family. Answer ___
An important factor in choosing my partner was whether or not they would be a good parent. Answer ____
One consideration in choosing my partner was how they would reflect on my career. Answer ___
When my partner doesn’t pay attention to me, I feel sick all over. Answer ____
I cannot relax if I suspect that my partner is with someone else. Answer ____
If my partner ignores me for a while, I sometimes do stupid things to try to get their attention back. Answer ____
I would rather suffer myself than let my partner suffer. Answer ____
I cannot be happy unless I place my partner’s happiness before my own. Answer____
I am usually willing to sacrifice my own wishes to let my partner achieve theirs. Answer ____
For each section, add up your score, based on the three answers you provided. Then rank each section from highest to lowest scores. The section/s you scored highest on will give you an indication of your ' love style'. Read the definitions of those you scored highest on below:
Eros or passionate (statements 1-3): is adoring, physical, lustful relationship. Also, if you have fallen in love ‘at first sight’ or have a relationship that gives you butterflies in your stomach… and tingling in other places.
Ludus or playful (statements 4-6): is a light-hearted, fun and easy relationships. Additionally, if you feel that love is a game and only want to have fun. These relationships are often not very serious.
Storge or friendly (statements 7-9: is a friendship-based love. Also, if you seek a companion who shares their likes and dislikes and who can form a long relationship based on closeness, trust, security and affection.
Pragma or practical (statements 10-12): is a practical, ‘best-fit’, realistic or ‘real-world’ love. People who think of love this way are practical when looking for a partner. They choose their mate based on rational decisions about whom they fit best with.
Mania or intense (statements 13-15): is an obsessive love that, while intimate and intense, often includes jealousy, possessiveness and a lack of communication. This can lead to an abusive or controlling relationship.
>Agape or selfless (statements 16-18): is love that expresses itself through altruism, or making sacrifices for another person. Often this type of relationship is out of balance and can lead to an abusive relationship.
Does the 'love style' you scored highest on reflect what you want? Are you happy with your answer or could it do with some improvement?
Remember that what you want in relationships can change over time, so what you want now may different from what you wanted in the past and what you will look for in the future. For more information about healthy relationships click here.
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